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Note: The following Story is Copyright 2008, by Harry Pellow,
All Rights Reserved. Now available on CD Disk from
Maestro's Library, 320 Martin Ave Santa Clara CA 95050.
Phone: (408) 727-1864. Fax: (408) 727-0951.
E-mail: maestroslibrary@gmail.com


Many People consider People who Purchase Porsches to be "Strange".

If so, those who Purchase 356 Porsches are in a Class by themselves.

In fact, by most any Definition, owning a 356 is considered, well, Weird!

You actually LIKE to drive a FORTY-YEAR-OLD FUNNY FURRIN CAR??? Instead of a nice new Volvo? Must be some kind of Nut. Stay away from him children. "But I can't, Mommy, he's got such a cool car." (Note also that "Cool" is once again "cool" and back in Vogue. Will Wide Ties be next?)

Many years ago, one such weird 356 Owner had a Speedster and a 356SC Coupe. Sad events forced him to sell the Speedster but he vowed to have a Speedster again,... someday.

Fast Forward, oh, 15-20 Years.

The guy did it- he GOT his Speedster.

Actually, he MADE his Speedster.

He MADE it from the 356SC Coupe!

And Interesting it was.

From the Front, the Blue Beast looked like a cross between a "Boxter" and a 911 Speedster. (That squared-off 356C hood gave it a sorta "911" look.)

From the Rear, with the Wildly-Flared wheel wells it looked almost like a 911 Turbo, but without a Whale Tail.

Above the Beltline, it had a "Real" Speedster Frame and Windshield and Soft Top, so it looked like The Real Thing- a 1958 Speedster.

Ah, but below the Beltline, the Front Wheel Wells sported REAR 911 RSR Flares. That combined with the huge Turbo Rear Flares allowed Great Big Mag Wheels and HUGE 225-50 X 15 Pirelli P-7 Tires. (Well, you gotta fill those Great Big Wheelwells with SOMETHING! Stock tires on 4.5 inch wheels would look really strange.)

But there in the middle of the car's Rear was the Original 356SC Dual Grill Deck Lid! Intact & Unmodified.

The curves to blend all this in together were both Complex and Interesting.

Michelangelo would have found it a Challenge.

Across the back, about where the 356 rear bumper would go was "PORSCHE" from a mid-'70's Carrera, incorporated into the tail light bar that wrapped ALL THE WAY ACROSS the rear of the car. Looked kinda neat too- once you got over the initial shock- and it's a whole lot better than ANY of the "Third Brake Light" systems the Maestro's seen. Hit the Brakes on this puppy and the whole rear end lights up! Even the clowns with car phones growing out of their ears can't miss it. "JESUS! I'm blinded by the tail lights of the car ahead of me. I'll have to call you back."

Inside the Blue Beast, the Dash was unmistakable a 356SC, with the gauges arranged in-line rather than in a Speedster-like pod.

Yep, no other name for it. It's a "356SC Speedster"!

It's the car Porsche SHOULDA made during the transition from the 356 to the 911. But didn't.

And it had a Problem.

The Owner had done a Hellofa job on the body work and paint, but sadly, when it came to Engines he was mechanically clueless.

Example: Heap many years ago, the guy had called the Maestro to complain about the two Side Horizontal Sheet Metal pieces the Maestro had given him for his 356C engine.

The guy claimed that the pieces wouldn't fit- and that, therefore, the Maestro had make a Mistake.

Knowing this was not possible, "No," said the Maestro patiently. "I gave you two Side Horizontal Pieces that were mirror-images of each other. That's what you need."

The guy argued that "No, they still wouldn't fit," until the Maestro decided to go see for himself just what the Problem was.

And what WAS the Problem with the two Side Horizontal sheet metal pieces?

The problem was the guy was trying to put the pieces together Bass-Ackwards! With the narrow end towards the Rear. They don't fit that way! The narrow end goes toward the FRONT!

And now, the same guy's Magnificent Creation- the 356SC Speedster- was not running too well.

In fact, it was running damn HOT! Just on the trip over to the Maestro's Shop- a mere 10 miles, the temp gauge needle was at 2/3. On the Freeway, at sustained high speed, it went into the Red Zone!

Now, THAT'S a Real Overheating Problem, thought the Maestro.

So, what was wrong?

The Maestro was about to ask ifin the Creation was 6 or 12 Volt, but didn't have to after the guy started the engine. From the RINGGGG-a-Ding Ding of the 6 volt Solenoid WHANGING into the Ring Gear Teeth of the Flywheel, he KNEW it was a 12 Volt "Conversion".

So he grabbed just the Magic Timing Light (and didn't take the 12 Volt battery he uses ifin the car is 6 Volt), and hoofed it on over to the Magnificent Creation.

He hooked up Sear's Finest Timing Light (the one with the Dial) and signaled the owner to fire it up.

RINGGGG-a-Ding-Ding went the starter. And Whoom went the engine, settling "down" to an 1800 rpm idle.

The Maestro pointed the Business End of the Timing Light at the Pulley.

Illuminated by the light of Xenon Truth the "OT" Mark "notch" on the Pulley showed up nicely.

WAYYYYYY to the left of the notch in the Case!

What does This Mean?

This means that the Timing is WAY TOO FAR ADVANCED.

Subsequent adjustment of the Magic Dial on the Timing Light showed the Idle Timing to be FORTY-THREE DEGREES ADVANCED!

Put that in your Engine and smoke it!

And that was at IDLE!

The Maestro was Curious about what the High Speed Timing was, since the guy had DRIVEN the car many miles this way.

Would you believe- the High Speed Timing was almost OFF THE SCALE on the Timing Light's Magic Dial! And the Dial goes up to SIXTY DEGREES!

That's right! The Magnificent Creation had 60 Degrees High Speed Advance!

That's REALLY Piston Popping Time!

No WONDER the poor engine was Overheating badly!

The Maestro eyeballed the Distributor in the Blue Beast.

It was, of course, an VW Distributor- a ".019"- which has INSUFFICIENT Spark Advance for a 356 or 912 Porsche!

(VW .019, .010, and .009 Distributors have a mere 20 degrees Mechanical Advance. Porsche Distributors have 30 degrees Advance. Viva La Difference.)

But that wasn't the whole problem. This puppy was "Static Timed" to have SIXTY Degrees High Speed Advance, with is totally WRONG for EITHER a VW or a Porsche!

Like I said, the owner didn't have a clue about Engines.

The Maestro told the Owner about the Joys of the .050 Distributor. How it DOES have decent Mechanical Advance. Twenty-Eight degrees usually, which with 5 degrees Static Lead gives you 33 Degrees High Speed, which is just about where you want to be these days.

But the poor guy didn't have enough money with him to buy a New .050 (and they're only $95, or $125 Individually Tested on the Maestro's Special Machine, you pick the advance you want from 26 to 30 Degrees!)

But with no money, honey, all the Maestro could do was to adjust the timing on the VW .019 down to something sane, so the Owner could drive to an ATM to get bucks to buy the .050 and not blow the engine. (And no, he didn't have a Credit Card.)

The Maestro loosened the Distributor Clamp Bolt, noting that it's really a pain to do when the Distributor Clamp is put on WRONG! Like this one had been.

Anyway, he got the clamp loose, and rotated the Distributor Clockwise to retard the spark back into the ballpark.

He set the High Speed Timing at around 30 degrees, and the Idle timing ended up being about 13 degrees advanced.

That meant the VW Distributor was cranking out a mere 17 degrees advance. Not good. It'll run, but not like a good Porsche should.

It'll certainly run BETTER now than with SIXTY degrees advance!

Well, maybe it won't, but it shouldn't overheat as much!

With the Timing sort of under control, the Maestro turned his attention to the Carbs.

They were new Webers, purchased from someone else.

"How come you bought these from somebody else," asked the Maestro pointing at the Webers?

"Well, because they were a few bucks CHEAPER than yours."

"Right," said the Maestro. "There are always those who are Cheaper," pointing at the "enrichment system" which were STILL on these Webers. "But these should have been taken OFF before the Webers were put ON. Otherwise, the Enrichment System HITS the Fan Shroud, resulting in the "Bent Weber" Syndrome and/or the "Dinged Fan Shroud", like it did here."

In this case the Owner had done the dinging himself, self-dinging both side of the Fan Shroud with a Hammer so the Webers would clear.

The Maestro's Webers have a block off plate that replaces the vestigial enrichment circuit and provides enough CLEARANCE 'tween Fan Shroud and the Carburetors. No dinging required!

"And see that?" said the Maestro- pointing to the Weber Linkage Arms. "See the linkage arms on 'em? They're the ones the Importer always puts on. I don't use those arms!"

Why Not?

"Take a look at the Downcoming Linkage Rods going to each Carburetor- see how the angles are NOT Symmetrical?

Now, think of how much MORE Symmetrical they'd be ifin the Ball on the Right Hand Linkage Arm were to point to the FRONT rather than the Rear. (Zeniths have the Ball on the Right Hand Carb pointing towards the FRONT for just that reason. So how come SOLEXES don't? That's a good question isn't it.)

"Why, yes," said the Owner. "That's Right! The linkage arms WOULD be more Symmetrical. Thanks. I'll just reverse the ball."

"No," said the Maestro. "You CAN'T "just reverse" the ball on the Importer's Linkage Arms!

If you try, the back of the Idle Stop part of the Weber Linkage Arm will HIT the Downcoming Linkage rod and WEDGE at half to two-thirds throttle!

It's the Ralph Nader Governor (and he's running for President!) that the Importer mustave been forced to use by the Mean, Nasty Bureaucrats in Washington.

The Maestro noticed this itty-bitty problem many years ago and made up Linkage Arms so you CAN put the ball on the Right hand Carb pointing towards the FRONT and NOT hit the downcoming linkage rod!

The Maestro's Linkage arms, like Monica, go All The Way Down!

Giving you FULL THROTTLE and all the Power you so rightly deserve.

The Maestro reached around the front of the Engine and felt for the Bell Crank on the Fan Shroud.

His Magic Fingers found it and after a little tactile stimulation discovered that the coat hanger like rod was at about a 45 degree angle.

Is this Good or Not Good?

Is Not Good!

It means that half your "gas pedal" travel just ain't there no mo'.

You want to have the top Bell Crank ball close to the Fan Shroud, (2" is the Factory Spec) almost as near VERTICAL as possible to get Maximum throw on the carb linkage.

It makes a TREMENDOUS difference in the "feel" of a 356 to have the carb linkage adjusted right!

Especially in a 356SC Speedster! Otherwise it would be "All Show and No Go".

But the guy couldn't afford four hours of the Maestro's linkage Manipulations. So, so much for that.

In fact, the guy was trying to SELL the car. Hard Times had hit again.

The Maestro took another look at it. It hadn't changed much- it still looked like what would happen ifin you had an, ah... orgy-like exchange of Seminal Material from a 356A Speedster, a Boxter and a 911 Turbo.

The Maestro had just seen- the DAY before- another Magnificent Creation at the First Carlsen Swap Meet of the New Millennium.

It was a Monkey-Vomit Green 1959 356A Coupe, but when it backed into the last parking stall before Swap Meet Only territory, it was obvious this 356A was NOT powered by your usual 4-banger Porsche engine.

The Louvered Deck Lid hinted at a 4-Cam Carrera, but the sound of The Engine indicated something else.

Eventually, the owner of the "A" opened the deck lid and the Maestro just couldn't resist- he HAD to go over and see what was inside!

And What was inside???

Was it a hopped-up 411 VW?

A 928 V-8?

An Allison V-12?

Nope, it was a 911 Engine (with Webers, ironically), shoehorned into the rear of the 356A, with the Big Red Air Intake snuggled so far back into the rear of the 356A's engine compartment, the Maestro wondered how enough air could ever be sucked in to keep it from melting into a pile of exotic alloy(s).

It was "For Sale" too, as the sign on the front window indicated.

And How Much do you think the Owner of the Monkey-Vomit Green Magnificent Creation was asking?

Only $76,000, and YOU could drive it home.

The Maestro restrained himself and went back to selling Synchrometers and Gold Plated Porsche Engines at the Swap Meet.

Ironically, the Owner of the "356SC Speedster" wanted to sell it too.

The Maestro reminded the Owner of the Worldwide Buy/Sell List the Maestro Maintains. Buyers and Sellers from all over the World can get the 356 of their Dreams, maybe, for $95/year.

Maybe he'd put this Magnificent Creation on the Web Site (www.hcpresearch.com) in Auction format.

"So, how much did you say you wanted for this?"

"Well, I'd like to get {A LOT Of Money} for it. I've got more than that in it."

The Maestro was noncommittal. But figured that who knows, someone out there might want such a Unique Creation, so he asked:

"What's the lowest price you'll take?"

The guy thought a while and said "{Still a Lot of Money}. I've got to get some money up."

Still a bridge too far for the Maestro.

The guy left, but returned the next day, bought the .050 Distributor and stuck it in himself, in the Maestro's parking lot. (He was too cheap to have the Maestro put it in for him. The Maestro, feeling sorry for the guy, even said he'd set the Timing on the .050 for free. Such a Deal.)

Over the next hour, the Maestro heard at least four separate, failed attempts at getting the engine running. The WHAM, BAM Thank you ma'am of the Starter "engaging" the Flywheel was unmistakable.

Finally, the Maestro heard The Magnificent Creation fire up once and for all.

The Maestro wandered out to the Magnificent Creation, Timing light in hand.

Once again, he attached the Timing Light and aimed the Pulsed Xenon Flash Tube at the Pulley.

The Light of Truth doth show, once again, that the Timing was WAY too far advanced! Sixty Degrees again!

"You sure like Way Too Advanced Timing, don't you?" asked the Maestro.

"Well, I just guessed," the Owner said modestly.

The Maestro set the High Speed timing to 33 degrees, which made the Idle Timing around 6 degrees.

"There," said the Maestro. "'Tis not so Deep as a Well, nor so Wide as a Church Door, but 'twill serve'. Now shut it off."

The guy turned off the Magnificent Creation.

The Maestro tightened down the Distributor clamp on the .050, and told the guy to fire the Beast back up again for a Final Check.

The Owner reached inside the car, turned the key,


With 12 Volts on a 6-Volt Starter, The Magnificent Creation LURCHED forward- right into the Concrete Wall of the building in front of it- 2 feet away!

At first the Maestro thought nothing much had happened. He had seen the 356 suddenly lurch AWAY from him (fortunately it was in FIRST Gear, and went FORWARD, NOT Reverse or it would have lurched BACKWARDS over the Maestro!)

Think of the Lawsuit!

But when the car was pushed back from the Concrete Wall, there it was- a DENT the size of a Football right in the middle of the beautiful nose!

Oh, man too bad! The Magnificent Creation had One Great Big Ding!

"Oh, NO!" yelled the Owner. "Oh man, now I gotta pound out that dent, and it's so hard to get to. And I gotta repaint the whole area, and there's no easy way to blend it in, and the Paint is special. And I REALLY needed the money...."

The guy was inconsolable.

It was then when the Center of Higher Reasoning had a thought and tapped the Maestro's shoulder, saying silently: "Y'know this might be a good time to buy a car...."

Not just any car. A Magnificent Creation .... With a Ding. "So, you said you wanted {A Lot Of Money} for it."


"Would you take {somewhat less} for it now?"


And the Maestro knew IMMEDIATELY from how quickly the guy said "Yes", that he had OVERBID! He coulda had it for LESS!

But was the Maestro unhappy about overbidding on The Magnificent Creation?

NO WAY! He was happy as a Clam!

It made his Duck Quack!


Because now he didn't have to get his 1958 356A Cabriolet back On The Road again. He WAS On The Road Again!

(And, every time the Maestro attempts to work on his OWN car- specifically the 1958 356A Cabriolet that he's had longer than he's had Mrs Maestro, as soon as the wrench is in mid-flight to the first nut or bolt the Maestro intends to tighten/loosen, someone walks through the door or the phone rings. EVERY TIME! It's Jinxed that way.)

So, ifin he wants to have that "wind-in the what little hair he has left" feeling ever again, he'd better hurry!

The Porsche gods gave him a Second Chance for Wind in the Hair! And since you NEVER, EVER turn down a Gift from the Porsche gods, it's Top Down Time!

In a 356 guaranteed to make the Purists Puke!

He can't wait to drive up to the next 356 Get Together in his new Magnificent Creation, by then with a Gold-Plated MaestroMassaged Engine that'll complement the car so well that some in-the-money IPO Billionaire will just HAVE to HAVE the car and trade his house in Los Altos Hills for the Magnificent Creation!

The Maestro will be easy to find- just follow the line of Puking Purists!

That'll make the Maestro's day!

Like the Magnificent Creation made his day today- Tuesday, 8 August, 2000. A Day That Will Live In Famy. Keep the 356 Faith The Maestro did!

P.S. Having completed the Purchase of the Magnificent Creation, the hardest part was yet to come- telling Mrs Maestro had he (the Maestro) had BOUGHT yet ANOTHER CAR! And not just ANY car.

He bought a Magnificent Creation!

But this time the Maestro was Clever. Knowing the allure of an Open Car on the Open Road the Maestro decided to get the Magnificent Creation sorted out.

He gave it a full Tune-Up (and found several of the valves overly tight), the oil dirty but no pieces of piston nor bearings inside the sump nor on the bottom of the Oil Filter Can. That's Good News.

He changed out the ugly blue VW plug wires that didn't "click" into the cap of the .050, replacing them with Porsche plug wires that DO "click" into the cap of the .050 and have SOLDERED ends on them where they fit in the cap. (VW's and El-cheapo kits use metal prongs stuck into the wire. Solder makes a much more positive connection.)

Grabbing four Original Brown Porsche "ends" from the Secret Stash, he had Porsche Wires again, banishing the VW plug wire to the garbage can after stripping off the rubber "boots" that were still good.

In went 5W-50 Castrol Syntex, the Synthetic Oil the Maestro likes. So did the engine. With 45 psi at 3000 rpm, Hot and 20 psi at Real Hot idle just off a 80mph run on the Freeway the engine was fair. Not great but not yet bad either. Might even last the Summer.

He jacked up the Magnificent Creation, pulled off a Gargantuan 225 X 50 15 tire and Mag Wheel and weighted it to see just how much heavier it really was. The results please:

Stock (and I do mean stock) Porsche 356C Steel Wheel with ancient, original 560 X 15 tire: 31 pounds.

Stock steel 356C wheel with 165X 15 Michelin tire: 33 pounds including the dirt.

And the Mag wheel with 225 X 50 15" Tires from the Magnificent Creation: 44 pounds.

That's a 30+% increase in wheel weight and Unsprung mass.

Better check out the front end.

Good thing too- the link pins were loose and hadn't been greased in a coon's age. From the amount the Link Pin protruded, the Maestro bet that this was its first adjustment since leaving the Factory in 1965!

That's Good- maybe the 69,356 miles on the Odo is Original!

The Maestro loosened the Link Pin clamp bolts and shot Synthetic Grease (Mobil this time) into the Link Pins until all the old stuff came out. Then he tightened the link pins down and greased the rest of the grease fittings at the tie rod ends and steering box. Some clearly needed it. And so did the Steering box which was almost dry!

He reinstalled the wheels with the alloy nuts and torqued them with his best Torque Wrench. Front and rear.

Then came the gas pedal.

He popped off all the connections, (including the bell crank at the gas pedal and at the Trans. Removed them. Unbent them, Cleaned and greased and adjusted them.

He waited impatiently for a day for Linda at Carlsen to get overnight delivery of the Bushings for the Bell Crank at the Transmission (the originals had long since turned to dust and the previous Owner hadn't noticed the TREMENDOUS slop in the gas pedal system).

It took an afternoon to fix everything in the carb linkage system, but the Maestro wanted his Mrs to have nothing to complain about about the car. No sticky nor "hard to push down" gas pedal.

The last thing the Maestro wanted to fix was the three holes in the Dash where a Radio once went.

So he slyly went through his Radio Collection, gathering five of the best Blaupunkts he had in Long Term Storage.

And tested them out.

They all failed! He couldn't get ONE of the damn Blaupunkts to work anymore!

Was this another Sign from the gods?

To do something DIFFERENT this time?


With a 12 Volt System he could put in ANY Modern System. And it didn't have to be just a Radio. It could be a CD Player with Internet Access and a Global Positioning System (GPS).

But only if it'll fit in the Radio hole with modifying the Dash.

After all, the Maestro likes his 356's Original!


(It turned out that NO Modern Radio fits the holes in a 356 Dash. So the next Best Thing to do was to put a Modern Radio in the Glove Compartment and a Dead Blaupunkt into the Dash to maintain that All-Important Originality. Oh- and stick an Oil Pressure Gauge where the non-working clock used to be. Although, with an engine that runs Hot comes low Oil Pressure- sometimes nervously low. Knowing just how low can be troubling!)

Anyhow, the Maestro figured the best way to break the Magnificent Creation News to Mrs Maestro was at her father's 80th Birthday Party.

She wouldn't/couldn't go Postal then!

(Smart, eh?)

That was the Plan.

The Maestro and his boy Andrew worked on the car surreptitiously at the Maestro's Shop the rest of the week. (Andrew actually seemed excited at the prospect of having a ride in a Convertible. His last ride being when he was 4 years old, before the 1958 Cabriolet burned the garage down around itself.

Most all the lights worked. The horn worked too. In fact, the horn worked TOO well- blowing when you didn't want it to- ifin you pushed on the wheel too hard. Sticking on a "Deluxe Horn Ring" specially saved for such a Special Occasion (which this was), magically solved the sticking horn problem. Thank you AGAIN, Porsche gods!

The Tach, Speed and Odo all worked.

As did the all-important temperature gauge. Also too well- the Magnificent Creation ran pretty hot.

This was thanks to the circa 1959, "no-indent for Valve Adjustment Decal", 356A/Early 356B Fan Shroud used when the Engine was rebuilt Loco-ally.

These early Fan Shrouds have a relatively small, screen-covered air intake in Front of the Fan Shroud.

Later B's and all C's and 912's, like the OTHER 2 shrouds the guy had, have a much larger, nicely curved "volute" type air intake that makes a difference at 80 mph on a 90 degree day.

Which is what traffic was doing up the Nimitz that Birthday Saturday when the Maestro had to give up on the dead Blaupunkts and see ifin the Magnificent Creation would make it through Oakland and Points North.

Up the Dreaded I-880 he went, pausing only briefly at the Sam Bose Perennial Traffic Jam where I-880 stupidly narrows to TWO lanes for two miles, them isentropically expands to 3, then 4 lanes and 80 mph.

The Maestro watched the temperature gauge closely. It went up to half pretty quickly.

Then continued slowly upwards.

To 2/3's Hot.

Then to 3/4 Hot!

Soon, it was nearing the start of the Green Zone just before the Red Zone where you gotta do something NOW!

The Maestro, not wanting to stop anywhere along the way or in Beautiful Downtown Hayward, began his patented cooling technique- accelerate up to 80mph, then back it back down to 50 by coasting. Repeat continuously, traffic willing. Today, traffic was unwilling. Even the Hugo's were doing 80.

So up the Nimitz he went- at 80mph- watching that temp gauge like a hawk.

Fortunately, as he neared Oakland, the sea breeze came in, lowered the ambient temperature twenty degrees and brought on a bit of engine cooling. At least the upward motion of the needle stopped.

By Bezerkeley the temp was back down to 3/4, but it was still running hotter than it should.

The Maestro was thankful for that sumpful of Syntex.

Arriving at his destination, the Maestro negotiated the surface streets. And the engine cooled down to halfway.

Still a bit too hot. But livable. It had made the Trip! Thank you Porsche gods.

To have broken down on that Special Day would have been an unforgivable sin!

The Maestro had a secret agreement with Mrs. Maestro's father to put the Magnificent Creation into the garage for the duration of the Party and show it at appropriate times.

And it was a Big Hit! Everybody liked it- even Mrs Maestro!

The Maestro told the Story of Buying the car and demonstrated how the Doors close with one finger, with that Porsche-like "click, providing that satisfying sound that GM is still searching for.

Took the guy three days to get each door to close that way!

The assembled guests admired the "gap" of the hoods and doors. Primo!

The finish of the paint.

The Great Big Tires and Mag wheels.

It had that "Modern" Look but with reliable 356SC mechanicals. (Warranty costs for the 356C series averaged $8 per car. Not bad, eh?)

One of the Guests, was one of those weirdos who had actually OWNED a couple 356's, and knew immediately that the Magnificent Creation was The Prefect Sports Car for the New Millennium.

The "Transition Model" the Factory SHOULD have made 'tween the 356 and the 911.

And after it gets a Gold-plated MaestroMassaged Engine and, oh, maybe 9.5:1 Compression and a set of bog-free 44IF Webers, it'll be just the car for a Hollywood Star.

And the Maestro gets his house in Los Altos Hills.

Meanwhile, he's a-gonna have some FUN! Keep the 356 Faith Maestro Remember:

Porsches will get you through times of No Money better than Money
will get you through times of No Porsches!



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