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Demons Live In a Yellow Cabriolet
(To the tune of the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine":)
Demons live in the Yellow Cabriolet,
.....It was one of the First Calls on the First Business Day of the New Year, 1997, one that would fix the flavor of the New Year.
.....It was a call from a nearly-new Owner of a 1963, 356 Super-90 Cabriolet Owner, one who had just bought his 356 rather recently. Seems as though the New Owner was a-driving on his way that day to the gay city by the bay when his 356 suddenly started running poorly. So, before he Committed himself to a Breakdown on the Bay Bridge, he wisely hung a U-turn at the "Last Possible Exit Before Toll Booth" and headed back home.
.....By the time he got home, the poor car was running so poorly on three or fewer cylinders that he didn't want to risk driving it down to the Maestro's Shop for debugging. No, he wanted to TOW it down! In the middle of the California Monsoon Season no less, during that "week that was" on both sides of New Years Day, 1996/1997.
.....For days, the Media had been blasting out of all its many mouths the Coming of a Wrath of God Rainstorm- a series of "Pineapple Expresses", out to destroy California. The Media barrage was so intense it got people thinking in Cubits once again, as in "How many Cubits long was that Arc again, Lord?"
.....The first three Terrible Storms missed California, dropping less than a quarter-inch of rain in a handful of hardly noticeable occasional showers.
.....Did the Media "overpromise" on the Storm? Did they Cry "Wolf" once again? (Film at 11). Did Clinton Rent out the Lincoln Bedroom? Boy, did they! Hey, Mr. Weatherman, just show me the last 24 hour Satellite Loop pictures of the Pacific and GET OUTA THE WAY!
.....The first three storms veered North and nailed Washington and Oregon with many feet of snow and freezing rain, making a mess.
.....The NEXT three storms, however, hit California and were more like the ones Noah knew- as the Pineapple Express dumped TWENTY INCHES of rain in five days onto the Santa Cruz Mountains, which cascaded into the yuppie's hillside homes, sweeping them down the slippery slope on many a mud slide, back to the Flatlands.
.....All it takes is a solid week of this Special Weather Pattern, wherein by Murphy, Low Pressure areas from the Gulf of Alaska conveniently line up and "shepherd" a loooooongg line of moisture-laden, highly humid Hawaiian Clouds DIRECTLY into California and the West Coast.
.....This is not unlike the Rings of Saturn, which use "shepherding" moons in slightly different orbits to keep the ring particles stably trapped between them, (and providing nice covers for Science Fiction Books). "Shepherding" Low Pressure areas guided Five-Thousand-Mile Long Herd of Raindrops straight from Honolulu to San Fran over New Years, 1996/1997.
.....You'll know the Pineapple Connection has arrived when its Seventy-Five Mile an Hour winds drive sheets of heavy rain HORIZONTALLY across the road. Drives cars Horizontally across the road too!
.....One day the Golden Gate Bridge had a TWENTY MILE AN HOUR Speed Limit for Hugo Hyena Drivers! Five mph above their Top Speed.
.....People in other places call this a Hurricane, but the Maestro called it a Typical East Coast Spring Storm and motored unperturbed down the Freeway that day, just fine thank you, at a perfectly safe & sane & now LEGAL 65 MPH. No big deal, really.
.....And no big deal for the 356 Owner either for he braved the same storm and brought down his 356 on his Trailer that day.
.....On the Trailer was a 1963 356 Super-90 Cabriolet, which the Owner unloaded and pushed inside the Maestro's Shop, all before the Maestro noticed that there was a new 365 in the Shop, for he was on the Phone, talking to a guy about an engine whose Valves don't move when the Engine turns over. (That's Right- the engine, shea-turn-a over-a, but the valves, they-a no-a move-a. Not-a bit-a. Whatsa the Problem-a? But that's another Story, and a Tech Quiz too.)
.....The Maestro somehow sensed that a 356 had suddenly materialized inside his Shop without his knowledge. This happens occasionally- the Porsche gods sometimes transport their 356's directly in from On High, using the Porsche gods' own Transporter. After all, the gods are getting older too.
.....He REALLY began to sense that there was a 356 in his shop by the sickly smell of California Reformulated Gasoline, Eau De La Methyl Tri-Butyl Ether, brought in by the newly arrived 356. Obviously one with a BAD fuel leak. Probably, speculated the Maestro sniffing the Air, yet another gas leak from the old German FABRIC FUEL LINE that's all over a 356 and that's now leaking thanks to the new gasoline!
.....Having had THREE separate, independent, German, flexible fabric fuel lines fail within three weeks (say that fast 10 times), on his 1980 528i BMW (now with a mere 215,528 miles), he is acutely aware of fuel line leaks from the new, Devil Incarnate, Reformulated Fuel, which must be a plot by bureaucrats to use up the Earth's oil faster and eliminate older cars and older owners too, so that eventually, all cars will be new enough to implant "devices" to transport your "Real Time" location to whatever Gummnt bureaucrat wants it.
.....Maybe add a video camera too. Now, THERE'S a great Parental Control Device for Teenagers if there ever was one! Especially if installed in the back seat of the family car! Ah, the Wonders of modern science. What would the Maestro have done in his folks' '59 Oldsmobile with a Video Cam in the back seat broadcasting back home?
.....Bring a blanket? Put a picture of a Pasture Scene in front of the lens? Tap into the circuit and broadcast an Electronically Produced version of a Continuous, Intelligent Discussion between the girl and the boy?
.....But, as Dennis Miller says, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
.....And I digress. MONDAY:
.....The Cabriolet that had just been pushed into the Maestro's shop where he was on the phone had a bad aroma of cheap perfume- Methyl Tri Butyl Ether- all around her. Mostly by her rear.
.....Sure enough, she was decked out in a unlady-like colors, painted in a hue of Yellow that Porsche never made but that the Checker Co. might have. For this was one of those FEW colors that does NOT look good on a Porsche!
.....(Some colors- that would look REALLY UGLY on a "regular" car, look pretty damn good on a Porsche. Orange for one. Even Purple looks good on 911's. Neither look good on a Pontiac. Or a 356. Go figure.)
.....THIS Yellow was another color that did NOT look good on a 356, probably 'cause the Factory never made a lot of 356 Taxicabs.)
.....Also missing was the metal deco strip that should have been inside the windshield rubber and without which gives the 356 a not-fully made up look. Like she sorta dressed hastily and didn't apply the make-up right.
.....And the fact that the driver's door had a half-inch gap at the TOP of the door and a NEGATIVE gap at the bottom of the door- the door was HITTING the top of its sill- was not a sign of a good past. And why was the driver's door doing that? Because the lower door hinge was "spongy", overly-weak from the Body Rust inside and would no longer support its fair share of the Load.
.....But this wasn't the Maestro's problem. The Engine was. The Maestro checked out the Engine Number first to see what he was up against. The Engine Number on the Third Piece just below the Generator Stand had a "KD" before it, as in "KD*P*807,xxx", which translated from the Original German means it was a Factory Rebuild of a late 1963 Super-90 Engine. Almost, but not quite as late as the Super-90 Engine in the Maestro's Porsche Police (Polizei) car.
.....The Maestro eyeballed the Engine Type Number on top of the Perimeter Bolt Nearest the Fan Shroud, almost directly below the Oil Filter can. There on the Right hand Case Half was "616/7", the correct Engine Type Number for a Super-90. And what the Factory builds the engine to when it does a "Factory Rebuild".
.....Then the Maestro checked the all-important Case Casting Number on the LEFT hand side of the Case. And found none. Nada. Nothing. And nothing had been "ground down" there either. The Case never had a Case Casting number.
.....Which means it was a "Replacement Case". Which is not unusual, since this WAS a Factory Rebuild of a Super-90, the Factory used a new Replacement Case. Replacement Cases never have Case Casting Numbers because Case Casting Numbers are only put on Cases that the Factory accepts and will use in an engine. (Having checked many NEW Replacement Cases, it is the Maestro's opinion that Replacement Cases might also be Factory "reject" Cases that aren't quite good enough for them to use, but are perfectly good enough to sell to you as Replacement Parts.)
.....The Factory often used a new Replacement Case (with no Case Casting Number) when doing a Factory Rebuild. Wouldn't YOU if the old case was too bad to reuse and you had a buncha new cases lying around?
.....Unfortunately, this Factory Rebuilt Super-90 had been re-rebuilt a few times after leaving the Fatherland, at least once by a shop on the Wrong Side of the Bay.
.....The Maestro began to eyeball the Engine. And immediately noticed that it was a European Heater System with the Bifurcating Schnoz off the Right-Hand side of the Fan Shroud. That Big Nose blows fresh air from the Fan Shroud (BEFORE the air gets contaminated with exhaust fumes) down through the massive European Heater Boxes wherein lie some 5 feet of sometimes Very Hot Exhaust pipe.
.....In fact, so MUCH heat is generated by all that hot exhaust pipe inside those massive European Heater Boxes that cooling air must ALWAYS be circulated through them! Otherwise they get much too hot and may be part of the reason why European Heater Engines seem to warp their Cylinder Heads more often.
.....The Maestro also noticed that the Required & Necessary three-foot long, 4" diameter Fabric Tube that takes Air from the Fan Shroud Shnoz over to the Driver's Side Euro heater box was either Invisible or MISSING! He checked. Nope, it wasn't invisible. It just wasn't there. Gone. Vamoosed.
.....He got down on his hands and knees, not in awe of her beauty, but to check out the Heater Connections to the Body under the car. Again- NONE!
.....In a "working" Euro Heater System a pair of flexible "Tubes" connect the air horn of the Euro Heater Box to the Control Valve on the car's underbody. One on each side. But not this time- both tubes were missing! GONE!
.....No "Tubes" means no heat to the car to warm the occupants, even through the engine is hotter n' Hell. Clearly another case of Murphy's Love of Irony.
....."Don't get much heat in the car, do you?" said the Maestro to the owner.
....."Well," said the Owner. "The Heater Systems in these cars don't work very well."
....."But, your European Heater System- which can heat a small HOUSE- doesn't work AT ALL! The connecting tubes aren't even there!" said the Maestro.
....."Oh, said the Owner. Maybe that's why it's been so chilly lately...."
.....The Maestro moved his eyeball around the engine- and quickly found some mis-installed sheet metal. The dip Stick shroud was installed BELOW the Cylinder tin of the #2 cylinder.
.....That's not right! The Dip stick shroud should be ABOVE (or on top of, if you prefer) the Sheet Metal piece for Number 2 cylinder.
.....Why that? Because if the Dip Stick Shroud is UNDERNEATH the Cylinder shroud, it spaces the cylinder shroud upwards by the thickness of the Dip Stick Shroud. Yes, for the Dip Stick Shroud it's NOT a big deal- a millimeter or two but it increases air gaps and it's NOT the way the Porsche gods like it to be.
.....A Quick glance at the Fuel Pump Shroud on the left-hand side of the engine showed it too was installed the wrong way- UNDERNEATH the Cylinder Shroud for #4 cylinder instead of on top of it.
.....And it was there that the Maestro noticed Something Interesting. More proof of the Truth that whenever you mis-install a part where it ought not to go, you gotta MIS-install some other part somewhere later down the line. Your mistake FORCES you to make more mistakes. That's why Mistakes come in pairs. Tragedies in Threes.
.....You'd think they'd be No Big Deal about installing the Fuel Pump Shroud UNDER the #4 Cylinder Tin, but you'd be WRONG! It DOES makes a Difference.
.....Really it does. Ifin the Fuel pump shroud goes underneath the #4 Cylinder Shroud, the screw holes of both pieces will no longer line up right! Which means you can't get the Cheese Head screw through BOTH sheet metal pieces (which you gotta do, as the screw is SUPPOSED to go through both sheet metal pieces!)
.....So, in an otherwise pretty nice Powder Painted engine, here was a "missing" screw in a highly visible place that could not be installed without either surgery on the sheet metal or lots of time to correct the original mistake.
.....The previous shop decided that the way it was, was good enough for a Customer with a Third Under Crank, and left the screw out.
.....It was also a Good Example to point out to the Customer.
.....The Maestro's eyes switched to the Plug wires- and recognized the expected, damned Volkswagen Plug Wires, whose presence is Required, nay MANDATORY, 100% of the time in any Turkey Engine Rebuild. When these damn VW plug wires are used with Weber Manifolds, it's almost impossible to remove a plug wire from a plug withOUT separating the VW connector from its wire.
.....Then, you gotta use PLIERS to remove that insidious tapered-cone VW plug end which is designed to be IMPOSSIBLE for the human hand to remove when lightly or heavily oiled (such as ALWAYS occurs in Turkey Engines).
.....So, when you DO use a pair of pliers to get the damn VW plug end off, you BREAK the VW plug end! And Curse. And of course have a Hellofa time getting the pieces out! (A nice pair of Needlenose pliers works pretty well.)
.....Once the Maestro gets the damn broken VW plug ends outa the shrouding, he throws them to the ground and JUMPS UP AND DOWN on them! They bring back Nightmares of his days working on Volkswagens.
.....You much bettah off REPLACING all the VW stuff with Porsche plug wires and Porsche "Ends". Real Porsche Plug Wires have soldered distributor connectors that "click" into place inside the Distributor Cap, making for a good tight seal. A much better seal than many VW plug wires which simply sit limply in the 5 holes of the Distributor Cap, just waiting for any amount of suction from the Fan to ride the winds up, out and off the Distributor, leaving you stranded by the side of the road. Again.
.....Most Importantly, Real Porsche Plastic Plug Ends have an easily-gripped, "raised bevel" on their end, interfacing with you, the human. Makes for EASY removal of the plug end. And truly a Joy for a mechanic to Behold when he sees them on an engine.
.....No Joy on this Cabriolet. It had plug wires with "VW Spark Plug Wire" written all over them, (as if you didn't know what they were) and Weber Manifolds- the worst possible combination. Heap Bad Joss.
.....The Maestro moved his eyeball around in an attempt to locate the source of the gasoline leak. Though the Reek of Reformulate hung heavy in the air like early morbidity, (Wow- what a GREAT name for a bad New Age perfume- "Early Morbidity". Bet the boy/girls with all the rings in things would dig that deeply), the source of the leak of reeking gasoline was not obvious. Only one thing to do.
....."Start it up." said the Maestro to the Owner. "Just make sure it's in Neutral, reach in and turn the key. I'll do the rest back here."
.....The guy reached in, put her in neutral and turned the key to start. The engine began cranking, and the Maestro vigorously goosed the carb linkage back and forth, pumping reformulated fuel down her throats whether she liked it or not.
.....Cough, Cough. Pop, Pop. WrooomMMMMM. Went the Engine. The Maestro adjusted the goosing rate to keep her running. It was obvious she's not runnin' on all four no mo'.
.....The Maestro reached over to the front Idle Mixture screw of the Right Hand Weber and began to adjust it. It just began to adjust when the Maestro felt a funny feeling. A funny feeling of cold liquid running over his arm. Since there usually aren't any liquids, cold or otherwise around that area of an air-cooled Porsche engine, the Maestro was immediately Suspicious. And pulled his arm out. And THERE IT WAS. ALL OVER HIS ARM! THE HORRIBLE, DEADLY REFORMULATED GASOLINE!
.....Ordinarily, the Maestro would have been Anesthetized by the Medicinal Properties of such quantities of Methyl Tri-Butyl Ether all at once, absorbed directly through the skim.
.....But fortunately, he was wearing his Class IV WW3 De-Con suit "borrowed" from a Large, Generous Electric Company and now used for Peaceful Porsche Purposes.
.....So where was this evil gasoline coming from? Oh, don't all shout at once. Yes, the Weber Carburetor seemed like a likely candidate, for the gasoline was a-shooting out of the bottom half of the Weber, all over the VW Spark Plug Wires.
.....The Maestro pointed out the Owner, the Fountain of Fabric Fuel-Line-Eating Chemicals, formerly know as fuel, that was flowing all over his Powder Painted Right Hand Side Horizontal Shroud.
....."What's that wet stuff?" the Owner asked.
....."I think they call it "Gasoline" these days, but it's a misnomer."
....."But where on the Weber Carburetor is it coming from?" asked the Owner.
....."Don't know. Said the Maestro "Can't see. Gotta remove the Weber Carburetor."
.....Meanwhile, this being the First Business Day of the New Year, the Maestro had a gaggle of Distinguished Visitors to his Shop, and it was now Standing Room Only. Looked like a Good Time to take a break from the Yellow Cabriolet.
.....The Distinguished Visitors included no less than Our Leader Himself, the Originator, the Head Honcho, the Numero-Uno-Man-o, one whose perseverance single-handedly brought the 356 Registry out of the horse and buggy days and onto the Internet, via: email@example.com
.....Which, with one e-mail to the above address that contains only ONE word in the Body of the e-mail, and that word be "subscribe", without the quotes, you too could have the key to 356 happiness. Because, Eventually. Real Soon Now, Maybe Someday, some, a lot, or all of man's 356 knowledge can be electronically transmitted to you!
.....Yes, it was none other than Robin Hansen himself- a Gentle 356 Owner who convinced the 356 Registry to spend some of its Gargantuan "Booster fund" money to sponsor the "356 Registry" Internet group, for the Betterment of 356's all over the World.
.....Well, has the 356 Registry's Internet Group been a Success? Did Clinton Inhale? Do 356's need to be driven?
.....The Maestro shook Robin's hand and congratulated him- and all the Web-wise 356 lovers who helped make the Best Damn 356 Porsche group on the Whole Wide Web!
.....(The Maestro's been on most allll them "Porsche" groups and checked out the Sites. Absolutely Nooooooooo Contest. The 356 Registry group wins hands down.)
.....Robin flew out from Phoenix to the Maestro's Shop to pick up a dozen of the red felt-like gaskets for the Solex/Zenith Banjo Bolt that attaches the fuel line to the Carburetor. Robin thinks the red felt gaskets work much better. The Maestro agrees and gave him a dozen.
.....The Maestro also had a couple other guys who "just happened" to be in or around the left side of the Country during New Year's and decided to stop in. Fortunately, they all called BEFOREHAND to make sure it was OK to bop in, BEFORE they bopped in unannounced. So the Laser Disintegrator was not set to "KILL & RECYCLE" mode when they arrived.
.....Several Fathers/Son teams took the tour to show their boys the Table of Terror with the Badly Broken Porsche Parts stacked on top. Other Old 356 Owners were showing New 356 owners the affects of not treating their new 356's right. It was Educational Open House at the Maestro's Shop.
.....It wasn't until 6pm that night when the assembled multitude dispersed sufficiently that the Maestro was finally able to get back to the Yellow Cabriolet and pop off her Right Hand Weber. While so doing, he got a close up view of the work the other shop had done.
.....Pretty nice powder paint. Except that now it was very dirty all over from a multitude of oil leaks. Pretty nice powder paint all over the carb linkage arms too, making it all but impossible to adjust the carb linkage rods. Which may have been why the carb linkage rods had NEVER been adjusted. Which may be why the Right Hand Weber opened well before the left hand Weber Carb did, which is why the Maestro CAD PLATES his linkage arms- so he can ADJUST them. Makes life easier.
.....As the Maestro was working on the Right Hand Weber he noticed yet another of the Standard Turkey Mistakes- mistakes Turkeys never realize they're making.
.....This one was the "Stretched Weber" Syndrome. Allow me to explain. Late model 356's (and all 912 engines) have a "spring plate" on the right hand side of the Fan Shroud to hold up (and adjust too- Yes, the spring plate also "adjusts" the position of the Top Linkage Cross bar. It's nice to "adjust" the top Linkage Cross bar so that it's about the same distance out from the Fan Shroud on both sides. Didn't know that? Don't feel bad. Now you know how to adjust the Top Linkage Cross Bar. Turkeys never know.)
.....Anyhow, the "spring plate" is held to the Right-Hand side of the Fan Shroud by three 6mm bolts. Which it was. This is normally all Good and Correct.
.....However, this Screaming Yellow Cabriolet used 40 IDF Weber Carburetors. with the Weber Manifolds. Which was wrong, Wrong, WRONG!
.....No, when using 40 IDF Webers, it is a Better Idea to use the SOLEX Intake Manifolds with the Adapto-Plate. That way, the Weber, the Adapto-Plate and the Solex manifolds are all of 40mm bore, PLUS the sheet metal fits without cutting or grinding, the spark plugs can be removed easily, and the Weber is raised a little higher by the thickness of the Adapto Plate. The last item turns out to be a Very Good Thing.
.....And had the boys on the Wrong Side of the Bay used Weber Carbs with the SOLEX manifold and the Adapto-plate there would have been Noooooo Problem. And no Story.
.....But because the Boys used Weber Carbs with the WEBER manifolds, the Weber carb sits significantly LOWER- closer to the cylinder head, and the Left Side of the Right hand Weber hits the heads of two of the three bolts that hold the Spring Plate to the Fan Shroud.
.....When this happens, the Weber won't sit flat on its gasket. Turkeys never notice this, and ifin YOU DON'T notice this and start to tighten down the mounting nuts on the Carb, you'll squeeeeeze the Weber against the bolt heads in the Fan Shroud!
.....With the top side of the Weber being impaled on the bolt head, and the nuts at the bottom being tightened, this produces what is known as the "Stretched Weber" Syndrome. And good things don't usually result.
.....This one had the Syndrome- Badly.
.....(Note: when using 44IDF Webers- like in a hot-rod engine- the Weber Manifolds work better since they're 44 mm diameter (4mm more than the Solex 40PII) and line up PROPERLY with the 44mm throat of the 44 IDF Weber Carb. But, of course, you MUST check for this interference DURING ASSEMBLY, when it can be successfully addressed by either: A. trimming the bolt heads, and/or B. removing the THICK 6mm washers and using thin 6mm washers, and/or C. machining the Weber Manifold at a slight angle to provide enough clearance between Carb and bolt head(s).)
.....While pointing out the Manifold Mistakes in the assembly of this brazen hussy, made so dirty in such a short time, the Owner happened to show the Maestro the Invoice from the shop that rebuilt the engine.
.....The Maestro perused the paper. There were Part Numbers like 616 100 130 75, The Maestro went into Deep Thought for about 37 milliseconds until the lookup table buried deep within the Maestro's somewhat twisted brain made a Connection. And told the Maestro:
....."Uh, Maestro here are the results: The "616" means it's a 356. The "100" means it's a Main Bearing Set. The "130" means it's a Super-90 Main Bearing Set. And the "75" means the Mains are ALIGN-BORE, for a First Over Case by SECOND Under Crank.
.....Which means that inside this engine there be a set of Impossibly Rare, Super-90 Align Bore Main Bearings!
.....Where the Hell do you get THOSE these days??? It used to be at Only One Place- also on the Wrong Side of the Bay. And now also out of Business.
.....So NOW where do you get these exceedingly rare bearings ifin you ever need to do the engine again???
.....Well, cough, cough, the Maestro's got a few. In the Emergency Parts Supply, of course. Reserved for Those Special Occasions.
.....The Maestro eyeballed the next part number on the Invoice and found it to be the number for THIRD UNDER ROD BEARINGS! Geez.
.....So this Brazen Hussy had two or three tummy tucks and a Second Under by THIRD Under Super-90 Crank in a First Over, Align-Bored, Factory Replacement Case that had then been re-rebuilt two or three more times down the road. Such a Deal.
.....And the NEXT time the engine needs a rebuilt, what a Problem you'll have- finding these Special Bearings, or finding another Case or Crankshaft (or both) when all are rarer than Hen's Teeth and more expensive than a night in the Lincoln Bedroom.
.....But what made the Maestro REALLY stand up and take Notice of was the listing on the Invoice of the item: "Clean pistons, cylinders and rings." Clean the Rings? Not "Replace" the rings?
.....Could be. There was no part number listed nor price shown anywhere on the Invoice for New Rings.
.....The Maestro finally got the Weber Carburetor off its manifold and was wondering how to test it for leaks. He thought first of the Simple Solution. Use a hand-pumped 356C/912 Fuel Pump connected to a Source of Gas and fed to the Weber's Inlet line.
.....With a few pumps of the C/912 fuel pump in your hand you can duplicate the Carb's life on the engine.
.....But from the high flow rate of this particular leak, the Maestro figured finding it shouldn't be a serious problem
.....And indeed, it wasn't. For as the Maestro was turning the Weber over in his hand, it emptied a quantity of Cold, Deadly Reformulated Liquid gasoline all over his hand- just like the new Puppy Mrs. Maestro got for Christmas did the other day. Only that liquid was warm. But that's another Shaggy Dog Story.
.....The Maestro warily eyeballed the badly un-housebroken Weber with his optically aided eye. And there it was- one of the two lead "soft" plugs at the base of the Weber- (used to plug holes drilled in the side of the carb) had fallen out! Completely Out! Leaving a 1/4" hole which rapidly drained the entire gasoline contents of the guy's Float Chamber ALL OVER HIS SPARK PLUG WIRES!
.....And ifin you have old, deteriorated, ARCING Plug Wires in your Porsche, and such a carburetor leak, how quickly can you say "Fire!"?
.....In this Screaming Yellow Cabriolet, the plug wires though they be Volkswagen were fortunately relatively NEW Volkswagen plug wires- new enough NOT to arc, ...yet. And, despite all the "Car Fire" Traffic reports on KCBS, nothing set off the deadly, highly volatile, explosive, reformulated gasoline (which, by the way, now explodes under conditions that "real gasoline" won't. Like inside the Vapor Space of a storage can. Isn't Progress Wonderful? Aren't Government Regulations just GREAT?)
.....Needless to say, the Owner of the Yellow Cabriolet was EXACTLY right to have TOWED his car to the Maestro's Shop and not try to drive it! (This is, of course, one of the few Exceptions to the "356's Should Always Be Driven" Rule! Gasoline is no longer something to play with.)
.....Indeed, this Owner was one Very, VERY lucky Porsche Owner. Some Porsche Owners are like that- with the Luck of Gladstone Gander. The Maestro isn't.
.....The Maestro got one of the NEW Webers installed on the Right Hand Side, (after "modifying" the Right Hand Spring Plate bolts to make sure that the Weber did NOT hit the Spring plate bolt(s) this time!)
.....Just as he needed it, the exact-length Cad Plated linkage arm needed for the carb adjustment jumped out of the vast pile into his arms. The Porsche gods brought it over to him on a Silver platter.
.....KEEP THE 356 FAITH!
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