SUBJECT: 356/912 Quiz of the Week
Copyright 1997, by Harry Pellow, All Rights Reserved.

Recently, a freshly-painted 1968 912 was towed, straight from the body shop, to the Maestro's shop for an Engine & Transmission Transformation. .....Two Days before the Halloween deadline, the 912 was almost finished. The Customer, a Platinum-Iridium Standard Old Geezer/Codger and former Engineer wanted Perfection for his '68 912, recently bought to satisfy a youthful Dream. For, once when he was much younger, the Geezer/Codger had a 912. Now, on heart pills and a 100 Watt Hearing Aid, he was a-tryin' to relieve his youth. .....The Maestro, having passed that Half-Century mark, and been visited by the Secret Angel that imparts Wisdom, doesn't blame him one bit. Why NOT go back to your youth, when Life was Fun, buy a '68 912 with 114,000 miles and only a little rust, over-engineer a Massive Fix to the perennial problem of the failed 912's Front Suspension Mount, paint the car a nice sedate SCREAMING YELLOW ZONKER color and have the Maestro's Tiger Team Rebuild the Power Train? .....Now the Codger was a-gettin' antsy, anxiously waiting to pick up his Baby on Halloween Tuesday and drive her 200 miles back home- at night. .....There was only one problem- when driving, there were NO lights in the rear! No Tail Lights nor Brake lights! That's because the Body Shop that did the paint job had REMOVED all the lights- to do a decent job- but had reattached the wires in a haste too great afterwards! .....The Maestro figured that ifin he wanted to finish the Codger's job by the Halloween Deadline, (and get paid for it), he'd better get the tail and brake lights working. So he pulled off the 912's rear tail light assemble. Hummh. Separate sockets for Turn Indicator, Reverse and Brake/tail light. Brown for Ground was hooked up like it should be. Color combo wires on the other terminals. Everything looks kosher. Sorta. So the Maestro went to the fuse block,. unscrewed it and looked inside. It didn't take long to find the two burned-out fuses midway in the fuse block. The Maestro replaced the one nearest the windshield. It stayed intact. Then he pulled the light switch on. The fuse brightened momentarily to Sun-like Incandescent, and popped with an audible "pop". Hummh, thought the Maestro, firmly grasping the obvious. Looks like we have a Short Circuit Somewhere. So, the Maestro went back to the rear lights, pulled off ALL the wires, and hung them so they touched neither themselves nor any ground. Then he returned to the fuse block and replaced the burned-out fuse again. Again, he pulled the light switch to "on". And again the fuse attained near-Fusion temperatures, followed by that now-familiar "pop". Sigh. Question: Given: .....A. What Works: Headlights, both High & Low Beam. Left-front Turn Signal. Left-rear turn signal. Left-front parking light. .....B. What doesn't work: No rear Taillights. No Brake lights. No Right-front turn signal. No Right front parking light. No Reverse lights. Two blown fuses. What's is/are the Problem(s)? ..... (Hint: The Maestro did some of your work for you, got under the car and pulled off the Reverse Switch wires thinking that maybe they might do something. Nope. Fuse still popped.) First person with the right answer(s) wins a free Spec Book. KEEP THE 356/912 FAITH! The Maestro SUBJECT: 356/912 Quiz: The Answer! You'll recall last week's Porsche Quiz? On 912 Electricity- or lack thereof- to ANY Light on the Rear of the car? No Tail Lights. No Brake lights! No License Plate Lights. All because the Body Shop that did the paint job had REMOVED all the lights- to do a decent job- but had reattached the wires in a haste too great afterwards. You'll recall that the Problem was TWO blown fuses. And that ifin one replaced the tail light fuse and pulled the light switch to on, said fuse would overheat and blow with an audible "pop"! So, the Maestro went back to the rear lights, pulled off ALL the wires, and hung them so they touched neither themselves nor any ground. Then he returned to the fuse block and replaced the burned-out fuse again. Again, he pulled the light switch to "on". And again the fuse attained near-Fusion temperatures, followed by that now-familiar "pop". The Question, Given: A. What Works: Headlights, both High & Low Beam. Left-front Turn Signal. Left-rear turn signal. Left-front parking light. B. What doesn't work: No rear Taillights. No Brake lights. No Right-front turn signal. No Right front parking light. No Reverse lights. Two blown fuses. C. WHY? .....After a while of trying this and trying that, the Maestro tried Something New- he tried thinking about it. He even fired up his Kepner-Tregoe Problem Solving Subroutine in his Center of Higher Reasoning (CHR). ....."What's the Problem?" said his CHR. "No rear Lights. No Brake Lights. No lights at the rear." ....."What's NOT the problem? What works?" The Headlights work, both High & Low beam. The Left Turn Signal works, Front & Rear. The Left-Front Parking Light works,... ....."Oh? the Left-FRONT parking light WORKS? Does the RIGHT FRONT parking light work? ....."Now that you mentioned it, matter of fact, NO the Right Front Parking Light doesn't work!" "Well," said the Maestro's Center of Higher Reasoning (CHR). "Have you checked it out?" "Uh, well," said the Maestro. "Uh, nooooo." "Well, dum-dum," said the CHR, tapping the Maestro's foot for him. "Maybe you OUGHTA get hopping and CHECK the RIGHT FRONT PARKING LIGHT!" So the Maestro pulled off the right front parking light. And there it was- the Painter had plugged the Brown Ground wire onto the "hot" side of the light! More importantly, the "Hot" side was plugged directly to Ground. And therein lay, lie, laid, whatever, the Problem! The Maestro expertly reversed the wires putting Brown Earth to Ground and Colored to "hot". And Confidently Replaced the fuse. Again he pulled the light switch to "on". And VOILA! NO BLOWN FUSE! Houston, we have Rear Tail lights. And Reverse Lights. Everything 'Cept for the Right Rear Brake Light. .....He had fixed the Problem! Or so he thought. .....Back at the fuse block, there was still the question of the SECOND blown fuse. Overflowing with Overconfidence, the Maestro replaced the second fuse. And with the light switch "on", watched it heat up to Incandescence and "pop". Sigh. The Maestro gave up for the night- at least he had all the lights 'cept for the Right Rear Brake light. Not too bad for a day's debuggin'. .....It wasn't until that evening when the Maestro got a phone call from the Geezer and his wife who acts as Translator & Communicator since she can hear on the phone but he can't. "I found the problem the Maestro said. The right front parking light was wired bass-ackwards. And I got all but the right Rear brake light to work. But one fuse still pops." The Geezer replied. "Well, you might wanna take a look at the LICENSE PLATE LIGHTS. We mightave hooked them up wrong." The Maestro had completely forgotten about the damn LICENSE PLATE LIGHTS, since on a 912 they're up inside the rear edge of the deck lid, unlike most 356's whereon they're in the rear bumper staring straight up at you. The next day the Maestro ran to the Shop and to check out the license plate lights. Sho' 'nough BOTH License Plate Lights were wired Bass-ackwards! Ground to Hot and Hot to Ground- like a 7-11 slogan. Seems as though the license plate lights had been switched side-to-side, left to right, after the paint job. Unfortunately, the wires are jussst long enough to connect to the terminal at one end only, so the "obvious" terminal was the WRONG ONE! .....That stopped fuse #2 from popping like popcorn. SO, DO WE HAVE A WINNER??? YES! Robert Duckworth got BOTH problems. Even more amazing, he doesn't have a 912! But really, one doesn't need a 912 to figure out the answer, just some debuggin' ability,

And the 356/912 FAITH!

The Maestro
 

 

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