Parts Price List
Ask the Maestro
THE ENGINE: SHE-A STUCK-A
FRIDAY, the start of Labor Day Weekend, 1997:
.....It had been a Long & Busy week this week at the Maestro's Shop. A 356C Engine was a-bein' assembled, an Industrial being disassembled. A 356B Transmission was going to be installed Real Soon Now into the Yellow Cabriolet from Bezerkeley with the Broken Ring Gear Bolts, but with NO OTHER Problems, although only the nubs of the nuts held the Ring Gear from falling off into Terrible Disaster. Blessed by the Porsche gods, that Bezerkeley Boy Be.
.....On Thursday, the Day Before The Day Before Labor Day Weekend, that is to say, YESTERDAY- the Maestro received a Desperate Phone Call from a Youth From Utah who had an Most Interesting Problem.
.....Seems as though the Youth From Utah had recently purchased a Very Low Mileage 1963 356B Super-90 Coupe, with only 70,000 Original miles on the clock, from a one-Owner Owner.
.....Unfortunately, the engine in the Super-90 got STOLEN when the car was at the body shop for paint.
.....That's Amazing for Utah!
.....More amazing was that the Utah Polizei RECOVERED the Stolen Engine- and gave the Engine back to the Youth From Utah.
.....Even more amazing was that the thieves apparently tried to put the engine in a VW Bus (what else) but the Clutch wouldn't work because one's a VW and the other's a Porsche. And before the thieves could figure out what to do, they were Busted.
.....So, overjoyed at getting the engine back, the Youth From Utah installed the engine back into the 1963 356B from whence it came, and fires it up. It even RAN!
.....So, the YFU (Youth From Utah) drives it Down The Road a piece. 'Bout 2 miles.
.....When all of sudden, the 356 begins to make "clunking" noises from its innards.
.....So, the YFU Nurses the car back home, pushing it the last little bit.
.....The YFU then decides he has no choice but to pull out the engine he had just put in.
.....So he removes all Four Engine/Transmission bolts and nuts he had so recently installed and goes to remove the engine.
.....But the Engine- she-a-a won't a-come-a out'-a. She-a a STUCK-a!
.....Only one thing to do at that point - call the Maestro at (408) 727-1864.
.....Which the YFU did.
.....The Maestro never having had an engine that wouldn't come out of a 356, did however have a few Stories for the YFU about other VOP's (Voices On Phone) who DID!
.....One was the Story of a Seasoned Citizen who bought a 912 Overseas, on a trip back to the Old Country. He drove the 912 all over Europe and when the trip was over, down to the Sea to ship it to the U S of A.
.....When the 912 arrived, the owner went down to the Docks of the U S of A to drive his 912 to its new home. The 912 started, but when the clutch was let up, would go nowhere. Just like in Neutral.
.....Further investigation found that all EIGHT of the Dowel Pins in the Crankshaft/Flywheel had been Severed by the Stevedores who thought themselves Boy Racers.
.....Even worse was that now, the 912 ENGINE WOULDN'T COME OUT! 'Cause the Flywheel Nut was still attached to the Crankshaft and can't unscrew itself completely because the Clutch Disk (itself imprisoned by the Pressure plate), is right there, a few millimeters away, preventing the Flywheel Nut from fully unscrewing.
.....So, ifin the Flywheel Nut can't unscrew itself, it is, therefore, still attached to the crank!
.....And ifin the Flywheel gets even a little bit "cattywhompus" to the Transmission Main Shaft- just slightly twisted out of being Perfectly Perpendicular to the Axis of the Main Shaft of the Transmission, then you'll never get the Clutch Disk offa the splines of the Main Shaft.
.....(Don't believe me? Try this sometime- place a 356 Clutch Disk over the Splines of a 356 Transmission Main Shaft, preferably a MaestroMassaged/Wolfman Rebuilt one. (Remember when doing this on a 356 Transmission, that the "flat" part of the Clutch Disk's Hub should face YOU- the conically-tapered, "extended" part of the Hub should face towards the Nose Piece of the Transaxle.
.....With ONE hand, (and only ONE hand), grab ahold of the Clutch Disk by ANY part of the Outside Circumference, and pull towards yourself.
.....Amazing, isn't it? A little Torque at the Edge and the Clutch disk will bind on the splines and NOT come off- when you pull with only one hand.
.....The only way to get the Clutch Disk offa the Splines of the Main Shaft is to use TWO hands- on opposite sides of the Clutch Disk.
.....Normally, this feat is easily accomplished by the Pressure Plate which grips the Clutch Disk Tightly, which grips the Flywheel tightly, which is Rigidly Attached to the Crankshaft by the Flywheel Nut.
.....All that tight gripping makes the Flywheel/Pressure Plate/Clutch Disk System pull out evenly and mostly Perpendicularly when you're pulling out or putting in an engine. That is as it should be.
.....BUT, it can be shown by the Most Casual Observer that with a Sufficiently Loose Flywheel Nut (or Sheared off Crank Dowel Pins), the Flywheel can become sufficiently "cattywhompus" to the Main Shaft that serious Engine Removal Problems can occur.
....."So how DID the guy with the 912 get the engine out?" Asked the YFU.
....."Hummh," thought the Maestro. "How DID he get it out? Let me think."
.....But the cobwebs had invaded that part of the Maestro's Brain and without his Minimum Daily Federal Requirement of Beer, he could not quite put his finger on the solution right then.
....."Course," he said. "There was this guy who used a a TORCH on the Transmission to get one stuck engine out! But that was at a Junk Yard."
.....And there was the a guy from the Lone Stare State who, after many beers and frustrating hours of trying to get his Case Halves apart, but failing to find that 6th Acorn nut under all the crud, ran a chain through one side of the Case, and tied that to a tree. Then he ran another chain through the other Case Half and tied that to the bumper of his Pick Up Truck. And he got in the Pick Up Truck... Yes, he DID get the Case apart. No, it never went back together again.
.....But Destructive Disassembly (including dynamite), is not really a nice thing to do to a 70,000 mile 356.
.....So the Maestro told the YFU how to check out through the Inspection Hole in the Transmission to see ifin he could see anything interesting Inside the Bell Housing.
.....The YFU did, but didn't know what he was looking for. He did find two other fellow ex-members of the Brigham Young Football Team who both tried and failed to remove the Porsche's engine no matter how hard they pushed, pulled and twisted!
....."Well, I still can't get it out," said the YFU," reporting back to the Maestro at 3 PM Thursday Afternoon, August 28, it was warm in San Bose'.
....."There's absolutely NOBODY here in Utah that knows how to work on these cars! So I'm gonna bring it out to you."
.....The Maestro, having heard THAT one before many times before, said. "Har Har, yeah, I bet you'd like to, but you're not in Kansas anymore, Toto, you're in Utah. That's a thousand miles away from Sambo Se."
....."But, I'm SERIOUS, Said the YFU. "I want to bring it out for you to pull the Engine out. Nobody in Utah can do it."
....."Well," said the Maestro. "Don't give up yet. These things take Time. And Patience. Sometimes the kind of Time And Patience that only comes with age. Blah, Blah, Blah."
.....The YFU hung up to go back to engine pulling.
.....The Next Day- Friday, August 29th- TODAY! At 1 PM, the Laser Disintegrator Beeps twice, code for announcing an Unarmed Entry, possibly a Customer. The Maestro was giving back to a Seasoned Citizen a set of Solexes, rebuilt after only a Summer's wait by such an expert Carburetor Rebuilder than of his 4 cars and 2 trucks, Nothing Runs. (Now, THAT'S a Good Carb Rebuilder!)
.....When what should walk through the door but one of Best Looking guys the Maestro's ever seen. (And the Maestro's NOT "that" way, but this guy was Real Good-Looking. About 25 years old. No fat. Lotsa Muscle. Gleaming white teeth, Adonis-like.)
....."Hi," he says. "I'm the Youth from Utah."
....."What?" says the Maestro. "You can't be. You're putting me on, of course, Dylan? I just talked to you YESTERDAY at 3 in the Afternoon. And it's what, a Thousand Miles from here to Utah?"
....."Eight Hundred, Seventy Six," said the YFU, knowing EXACTLY how many miles it was.
....."Whoa, uh. Well, yeah, that's about Right," said the Maestro. "But Utah is an Hour LATER too, and by the time you loaded up you and the 356 and set out, less some rest and stops and what? ' You Drove All Night at Eighty Miles an Hour, towing a 356?"
....."That's about right," smiled the YFU, guiltily.
.....The Maestro was AMAZED! The YFU just pulled up in front of the Maestro's Shop with his 356 on a simple but effective flat bed tow rig after driving all night from Utah, so that the Maestro could pull out his engine!
.....All of a Sudden, Someone Else's Theoretical Problem became the Maestro's REALITY. No more playing Armchair Mechanic telling others how to do something over the Phone. This time he'd have to perform!
.....Get that Engine out, or Get Outa Town!
.....Needing absolutely no help, the YFU lifted the 356 off the Trailer himself, with one hand, and set it onto the ground. Then ever so effortlessly he pushed her around the back of the Maestro's Shop and inside, the Maestro running to keep up.
.....The Maestro, ever-brimming with over-confidence since the Man from Alaska with a MaestroMassaged Engine made it through Death Valley at 120 Degrees F, with an accidental 50 Degrees Advanced Spark Timing and SURVIVED, thought that pulling this stuck Puppy out would simply be a snap.
.....The YFU, using his bare hands, loosened the nuts on the Engine he had hand-tightened in Utah, Yesterday. The Maestro tried to remove one of those same nuts with his own hand. Absolutely No Way. Took a reasonable push on the socket wrench.
.....So, using the former Football/Baseball Star (and when the YFU showed the Maestro how to throw a Split-Fingered Fastball, the Maestro KNEW this guy was For Real and Spaketh The Truth. For there was absolutely no way the Maestro, former baseball player himself, could throw such a pitch- the Maestro's Fingers just don't go that way), as a Very Strong Engine Extractor, the Maestro got underneath the engine.
.....And eyeballed the Engine/Transmission Junction.
.....To see a snug fit. With almost no gap.
....."Pull," said the Maestro to the YFU. The YFU pulled.
.....A quarter inch gap was about all the gap there be.
.....Hummh, thought the Maestro.
.....So he and the YFU removed the Muffler which appeared to be hitting the body during attempts to move the engine side-to-side.
.....With the Muffler removed, the Maestro and the YFU eventually got the engine out a half-and inch or so.
.....The Maestro looked up through the crack to see what he could see.
.....And what did he see?
.....He saw something no 356 Owner should EVER see- The NAKED Hub of the Flywheel- in almost ALL its Full Frontal Nudity! (Full-Frontal Flywheel Hub Nudity, the Full Monty, is not a pretty sight for a 356 Owner to see. The Flywheel Hub is that part of the Flywheel that the Flywheel Seal seals on. Normally, the Flywheel Hub sticks COMPLETELY inside the Porsche Case, 'cause that's where the Seal is, and is IMPOSSIBLE to see on any "properly assembled" Porsche engine!)
.....But there it was- for the Maestro, the Porsche gods, the YFU and all to see- at least a Quarter Inch of Shinny Flywheel Hub, staring back at them.
....."Bad news," said the Maestro to the YFU. "It looks like you've got the Worst of all Possible Worlds. You have the "912 and the Stevedores" Story.
....."The Flywheel Nut has loosened, but can't come off fully. But the Flywheel Nut has unscrewed enough for the Flywheel to come OFF the Crankshaft's dowel pins. Or the dowel pins may all be sheared off.
.....Either way, the Flywheel is FREE, LOOSE, and twisted enough to prevent the Clutch Disk Splines from pulling off the Transmission Main Shaft when the engine is pulled."
....."Can you get it apart?" asked the YFU.
....."Well," said the Maestro. "I can think of two Theoretically Possible Ways. One is to verrrry carefully get the Flywheel EXACTLY perpendicular to the Main Shaft. And verrryy slowly pull the engine backwards. With just the Right Touch you might actually make it.
.....The Maestro, never having that "Touch" when he needed it, didn't have it then either. He tried a Binary Search on the YFU's engine, trying every which way, but ultimately to no avail. Even with Ulysses from Utah, as strong as he was, pulling as hard as he could, Youthful Strength was more than overcome by Murphy's Mechanical Advantage.
.....Ah yes, the Advantage Murphy has in Things Mechanical. Hell, Things Anything.
.....The Maestro knew then that the Time it would take him to align a loose Flywheel THAT exactly would be measured in Days/Weeks/Months/Years/Ages of the Universe. He didn't have the Time nor the Patience for that.
.....Around 3PM, Friday, TODAY! The YFU announced to the Maestro, about an hour and a half after he arrived:
....."Well, I gotta go."
....."You're Going?" said the Maestro. "Aren't you gonna stay overnight?"
....."Nope" said the YFU. "I borrowed the truck from my buddy, and I've gotta get the truck back to him by tomorrow."
.....And the YFU headed out the Maestro's Door, back to what is it, the Honeybee State? Ah, why is Youth wasted on the Young?
.....So the Maestro asks you- The First way of aligning the splines on an uncontrolled Flywheel requires a Fenyman-like lock-picking touch. What's the SECOND way of removing the stuck engine?
.....Besides the two sticks of Dynamite? Keep 356 Faith Maestro
.....That's the way it was- on Friday of Labor Day, 1997.
.....On Saturday of Labor Day, the Maestro grabbed his boy Andrew, now 11, for some free slave labor and drove on Down to the Shop in his new '65 356SC Driver with Trusty Rusty's Hot Rod Engine, Bright & Early about Noon.
.....The Maestro was supremely overconfident that his Second Theoretical Technique would get out that Engine that nobody in Utah could- including the Entire Starting Line of the Brigham Young Football Team.
.....Would the Maestro succeed where a Pac 10 Team failed? He could hear the Roar of the Crowd already. Or was that just his ears ringing?
.....The Maestro had cleverly stopped at Sears to buy three different kinds of 13mm sockets, including one with a Universal Joint that went around corners, all in preparation for the attack on what would most assuredly be 13mm Pressure Plate bolts.
.....The Maestro Assumed the Position underneath the Utah-Red 356 and began the no longer Theoretical Engine Removal by pulling the 356's STARTER out! He didn't want the Starter particularly, he just wanted the Starter's HOLE!
.....Once done, the Maestro then had an almost convenient and Fairly Large Hole, uh, Orthoscopic Surgery "Window" through which to inspect the Flywheel and outer Circumference of the Pressure Plate- and MOST IMPORTANTLY get to and, hopefully, REMOVE the Six Pressure Plate Bolts- the ones that hold the Pressure Plate to the Flywheel.
.....The Maestro and Andrew had prototyped this operation on the Breadboard of a Wolfman-Rebuilt 356B Transaxle, using a Brand New Super-90 Flywheel, and a new 200mm Pressure Plate and Clutch Disk and saw that it was indeed possible to get to the Pressure Plate bolts through the Starter hole in the Transmission.
.....It was The Maestro's Second Theoretical Solution- that it was possible, in Theory, to UNBOLT the Pressure Plate- In Situ! INSIDE the Transmission, via the Maestro's Theoretical Laproscopic Surgery. And with the Pressure Plate Bolts Unbolted, there's NOTHING to keep the engine from coming out! Yeah, the Clutch Disk and Pressure Plate stay INSIDE the transmission housing, but they just plop off once the engine is out.
.....Simple, so very simple, that even a Maestro can do it.
....."Note the Operation's Start Time," said the Maestro to the Shop's Computer.
.....The Maestro proudly fixed Andrew up with the Maestro's Father's tools- late Grandpa Elmer's 1/2" S-K Socket wrench with a heavy-walled 'Merican size but equivalent to 30mm socket from the 1930's, to apply to the Pulley Nut- now easily exposed on the Utah 356 since the Muffler had been removed yesterday in the Vain attempt to wiggle the engine free.
.....Only problem was that it was Theoretically Possible that the Flywheel was no longer connected to the Crankshaft, and therefore, turning the Pulley would have absolutely NO effect on the Flywheel, and the Flywheel wouldn't move.
.....The Maestro Assumed The Position under the car and eyeballed the Flywheel through the Starter Hole as Andrew, using Grandpa's tools, cranked over the engine, Clockwise.
.....The Maestro could easily see the Flywheel.
.....Flywheel no move.
.....Heap Big Proof that Flywheel not connected to Crankshaft anymore!
.....Sigh. OK, Andrew you can stop cranking. This isn't gonna work.
.....So the Maestro tried to rotate the Flywheel with a Big Screwdriver in the Ring Gear Teeth. No go. Flywheel Very Tight. She No Rotate.
.....Many minutes of playing around failed to produce an obvious solution to the problem.
.....It was just the Right Time for a Lunch Break. Admit the inflow of Vital Nutrients into the Maestro's somewhat twisted brain and it began to wonder ifin there were some other way to rotate the flywheel.
.....He called Jay, the Maestro's Machinist. Jay suggested putting the car in Fourth Gear, and pushing it. That ought turn the Main Shaft over which oughta turn the Flywheel over.
.....And it would have worked in other cases, but not in this case. And you certainly didn't want to be UNDERNEATH the car when it was being pushed backwards or forwards. But if you WEREN'T under the car, then you couldn't tell when to STOP PUSHING as a Pressure Plate Bolt came into view!
.....Ifin you couldn't eyeball the Flywheel as the car was moving, Random Chance would determined whether a Pressure Plate Bolt was in the right place for removal.
.....The Maestro knows about Random Chance. Like you ain't NEVER gonna get any when you really need it!
.....To align all the Pressure Plate bolts using the Maestro's Personal Form of Random Chance would take him several Ages of The Universe.
.....So, the boys tried jacking up ONE wheel of the 356, leaving the other wheel on the ground, and rotating the tire which should rotate the Flywheel, and hence expose the Pressure Plate Bolts to possible removal.
.....But rotating a tire proved too unwieldy. And in this case, again Impossible. There must be a better way, thought the Maestro.
.....But he couldn't think of one just them. So it was back under the car, Assume the Position, and eyeball the flywheel Ring Gear Teeth once again.
....."Y'know ifin I had just the right size screwdriver..."
.....So he got out from underneath the car for the Umpteenth Time and selected his Favorite little Screwdriver, which just happen to be wide enough to wedge into the Ring Gear Teeth jusssssst right so he could rotate the flywheel.
.....Or so he thought.
.....When he put that right size screwdriver into the ring gear teeth and rotated, he could feel Good Force applied to the Flywheel. But the Flywheel- she'a no-a move-a. She-a STUCK-a.
....."So, NOW what are you gonna do, Dad? How're you gonna rotate the stuck Flywheel?" asked Andrew Anxiously.
.....What the Maestro would give for a few millimeters of Flywheel motion right about then.
.....Instead, (and having no choice), he thought about it. And ALLOFASUDDEN, the Porsche gods transmitted the info through the wireless Ethernet, direct into the Maestro's somewhat twisted brain.
.....He got an IDEA!
....."Andrew! Son! Boy! Attention!"
....."Yes, SIR, Pater Sir."
....."Andrew- I want you to hop into the 356 and push the Clutch Pedal all the way DOWN."
.....Andrew hopped in and complied, having learned earlier in the day where the Clutch Pedal was and what it's used for.
.....Once again, the Maestro selected his favorite little Screwdriver, and placed it into the Ring Gear Teeth jusssssst right.
.....It was his Last Chance before Dynamite.
.....The Maestro cranked- and the Flywheel MOVED! Maybe the Earth a little too.
.....He could rotate the flywheel several millimeters at a time!
.....So, with Andrew holding the Clutch "Down", the Clutch Disk was separated from the Flywheel. We know that the Flywheel was separated from the Crank, a previous given, and therefore, the Flywheel should ROTATE, with the Pressure Plate, both Orbiting around the Clutch Disk which stays STATIONARY on the Transmission Main Shaft!
.....Kind of a strange way for a Clutch to work on a Flywheel that's OFF the Crankshaft but still held by a few turns of the flywheel nut!
.....But hey- it WORKED!
.....The Flywheel rotated rather easily, and before long the First of the Six Pressure Plate Bolts became visible through that three-inch Orthoscopic Surgery "Window" provided by Starter Removal.
.....And, of course by Murphy, the previous %$$^%$# who had put the Pressure Plate on had used an EXTREEEEEEMLY rare and hard-to-find 8mm bolt with a FOURTEEN mm head- (something the Maestro found out only after going through his collection of many 13mm wrenches without success.)
.....So, the Maestro wasn't gonna be able to use ANY of his three Brand New Sears Sockets, including the one with the Universal Joint that went around corners- 'cause the Bolts were all 14mm!
....."Oh, BLAST IT," said the Maestro in Andrew's Presence.
....."Whatsamatter?" asked Andrew.
....."The Idiot who put this Clutch on used a 14 mm Across the Flats (ATF) Bolt! There's very little clearance with even the usual 13mm Pressure Plate Bolt between it and the "Hump" of the 200mm Pressure Plate. That's why most 356's use Allen Head 8mm Bolts.
.....But with a 14mm ATF Bolt, there's almost NO clearance to get a wrench in there!
.....Now, how am I gonna get this thing off, thought the Maestro, with Andrew watching.
.....But never say die, the Maestro gave it the old college try.
.....And finally, after 30 minutes of trying new angles, the Maestro removed the Passenger's Side "J" Tube from the engine and tried many more new angles until - finally- one of the Pressure Plate Bolts loosened (with an open-end 14mm wrench, Guinness Record Keepers will want to note.)
....."Wow! That Bolt wasn't that tight," thought the Maestro honestly. I guess THEY couldn't get a wrench in there either and therefore couldn't overtighten the bolts grossly. Maybe it WILL be possible to get all 6 off."
.....You know about False Hope and Murphy don't you?
.....The second Pressure Plate Bolt was not so easy- and required a LOT of Time & Effort. Finally got it off with the Best Box end 14 mm wrench the Maestro had.
.....The Third Pressure Plate Bolt was not to be removed by any of the previous techniques.
.....So the Maestro had to put his grinder to good use, irreversibly trimming the Box part of two of his BEST wrenches down to Minimum Thickness.
.....Yep, he was using GOOD wrenches. On this Porsche, not-so-good wrenches wouldn't even come close!
.....But even with the Best Wrenches it was Still No Go. This Special Situation needed a Special Tool.
.....And the Maestro thought maybe he already had this Special Tool- He still had the "Crow's Foot" 14mm Special Tool, used to adjust the valves in the Maestro's dear departed 1960 Mercedes 220SB, may she Rest In Peace and Bless Her Soul. Maybe it might work here.
.....And the Mercedes crow's foot WAS a delight to use- once the 14mm Bolt was first broken loose!
.....And THAT was the problem. So, by continuing to grind the edge of the box end of his BEST 14mm Wrenches to BEYOND Minimum Section, and then BENDING them 35.6 degrees, so they'd be flat on the Pressure Plate Bolt and just barely clear the Transmission housing on the outside the Starter Hole, oops, the Orthoscopic Surgery Access Port, so that one could apply Maximum Possible Torque, and well, maybe the Porsche gods moved the Maestro's hand jusssst right, but:
.....Only took him about 5 hours and many, many scratches and sore muscles he didn't know he had until the next day.
.....But he got ALL 6 of those little devils- (Oh, and one Special Trick: The Pressure Plate bolts are jussssssst long enough so that they won't fully clear the Transmission Housing. So, like the Flywheel Nut, the Pressure Plate Bolts can unscrew ALMOST all the way out, but not quite.
.....But the Maestro had Andrew press the Clutch Pedal "Down" once again, (might handy Andrew and that clutch pedal), which forced the loose Flywheel Rearwards just enough to open jussssst enough gap so that with one hand holding the now almost loose 8mm Pressure Plate Bolt, the other hand feeding in the Industrial Strength, Room Temperature Superconducting Magnet on a Stalk to grab the bolt and its washer before both fall inside and jam the Flywheel somehow- which you know they will ifin they can. Guaranteed.
.....And it required Andrew to push the clutch "Down" and HOLD it Down at the right time for sometimes fairly LONG periods of time. But the Maestro had the Faith that Andrew wouldn't let up on the Clutch Pedal and decapitate one of the Maestro's Magic Fingers.
.....Crawling out from Underneath, Gleaming with Pride, Dirt and Sweat the Maestro said to his Boy:
....."Now, see boy, all we gotta do is pull back on this here EN-gine that nobody in the Entire State of UTAH could get out but WE can, and OUT She a-gonna Come! You watching this, Boy?"
.....Andrew was. Intently.
.....The Maestro pulled Rearward on the Utah-Red 356's Engine.
.....Out she did NOT come.
.....The Maestro pulled the engine rearwards again, a little harder. Still a-no-a go-a. She was STUCK TIGHT. Just like in Utah.
....."Hummmmh," said the Maestro, thinking about his Hernia.
.....That being a good thing for him to think about, he thought: "If the Entire Starting Line of the Brigham Young Football Team couldn't pull this thing out, how can I?"
.....About that time, a Message from the Porsche gods arrived at the RS 232 port from the old 300 Baud modem embedded in the Maestro's brain. It said: Remember the Words of the Porsche gods: Work Smarter, not harder.
.....And the Maestro's eyes Bulged.
....."OH, BUT OF COURSE! The Pressure Plate must be stuck on the little Alignment Dowels- those two or three little Dowels used to align the Pressure Plate to the Flywheel so that after Balancing, the Pressure Plate can be put back on with virtually no error.
.....But the alignment dowel pin guys only protrude a little bit- just a few millimeters above the Flywheel. It oughta be easy to pop them off. Then the FLYWHEEL is finally FREED from Pressure Plate Prison!
.....And the engine would be free to pop out of the Transmission. And the Flywheel would be free to....Uh, Oh! DANGER ALERT!
.....If the Engine suddenly frees up and POPS back, out of the Transmission when the Flywheel is simultaneously Freed, then you better WATCH OUT for Falling Flywheels, coming through the Spreading Center as the Engine separates from the Transmission!
.....Flywheels falling a full foot or more and hitting YOU in the Head or on other important part(s) of your anatomy can ruin your whole day! And I'm SERIOUS! Believe me, if it CAN happen it WILL happen. Murphy Rules. And I Believe! You have been Forewarned.)
.....So the Maestro went back underneath the Utah-Red 356 for the Umpteenth + 20 time, Assumed the Position, and pried off the Pressure Plate as far as he could.
.....And Andrew put the Clutch Down, and the Maestro used his Little Screwdriver in just the right part of the Ring Gear Teeth and turned the Flywheel over a few inches, a few millimeters at a time. And pried some more on the Pressure Plate. Then he turned the flywheel a few more inches, a few millimeters at a time, and pried some more on the Pressure Plate,...
.....Repeat slowly and painfully many more times than you'd really like to hear about, until he could FEEL that the Pressure Plate was now jusssst about off those damn alignment dowels. FINALLY!
.....KEEP THE 356 FAITH!
© © 2012 The MAESTRO, Maestro's Library
Home Videos Books Order Form Engine Overhaul Transmission Overhaul
Parts Price List Classifieds Stories Samples Quizzes Ask the Maestro